It feels like my life right now is anything but stable. I’ve gotten used to the uncertainty. In fact, I’m learning to thrive in it.

While the world remains in perpetual flux, while my timeline to heal and my career path remain unknown, the one thing that’s stable, the common denominator, is me.

And I’ll never give in.

I’m twenty-eight, and I’ve spent the majority of my twenties in chronic back pain.

In my  Back Ability Blueprint  group, a community of us dedicated to healing, some have been in pain for multiple decades.

Yet they’re here. They haven’t quit.

And for the first time in both their lives and mine, there’s genuine hope.

Sometimes, I gotta just put my hands up and be proud of what I’ve made it through. And if you’re enduring anything at all, you better be fucking proud, too.

I got up this morning and went to the gym. It’s who I am, regardless of how I feel.

This is a season of endurance, the word deriving from endurer, to make hard, to continue existence, to last. Sometimes enduring is all that’s truly needed.

It’s so easy to quit.

To stop when you don’t see a reason to continue.

To settle.

For me, that’s simply not an option.

For seven years I’ve felt broken. But even at my lowest, my spirit has never surrendered. It’s only grown stronger from this adversity, for I know in my heart of hearts that there is a miracle at work, an unimaginable future if we just continue.

We want things to happen now, but I have to be grateful for the strength just to have made it this far.

I have to be grateful for the strength to continue fighting; many aren’t so fortunate.

I’ve never succumbed to painkillers, drugs and anti-depressants, and I’m proud of that, perhaps more than anything else. I can’t explain it, but it’s just never felt like an option.

The pain has been a teacher, and I’d never want to silence what it’s trying to tell me.

I know my circumstances are trivial compared to others, but we can either mask what we’re going through or seek to understand it, no matter what it is.

We can use what we’re enduring or let it waste us.

I could be laying in bed all day with no desire to try, no faith, no motivation. But it’s the opposite. My faith has never been stronger, for I know the only way out is through.

I long for the strength to overcome, but I’m just thankful for the strength to continue.

Life tries to get the best of me: pain, uncertainty and certain insecurity. But when I take action, the sun shines upon my shadow of doubt, whether it’s going to the gym to train my back or working on my creative endeavors to design the future I so badly desire.

When I get outside the mind and I act, what I fear’s consumed in light.

Action begets action. We can’t control the outputs, only our inputs.

The universe notices your commitment to your dream, your commitment to yourself — your healing, your growth, and it smiles upon you.

The results of our actions may take months, years, decades to be made manifest. Yet the reward isn’t one day being successful.

The reward is becoming a better you as you learn, each and every day, what it means to persist. The longer you can stay at it without a need for an answer, the greater the victory that’s on the way.

It’s a fight against these demons which tell me I’m not good enough, strong enough, able enough to make it where I hope to go.

Should it really take this long? What am I doing wrong?

The thoughts are paralyzing, keeping us stuck in a negative delusion, when in reality these thoughts are part of being human, for if you knew who you were, exactly where you’re meant to go, there’s nothing left to learn, no way left to grow.

Dance with the devil — welcome it in.

Just know your story isn’t done no matter how long it’s been.

There are two types of games in life: finite games and infinite games. Finite games have an end goal. They’re played to win. The point of infinite games is simply to continue playing.

Staying healthy and strong, maintaining a loving relationship and sustaining peace of mind are infinite games. These are the games that matter. These are the games I want to play.

Going for your dreams is an infinite game, because the bigger the dream, the greater the time scale; most people will quit before time has the chance to take its course.

Will you? Or will you sign up for a lifetime of commitment, stick it out for the long haul and persevere?

The beauty is, it won’t even matter how long it takes. Who you become along the way is enough of a reason to walk toward what you long for without the destination in sight.

Everything doesn’t need to happen now. Just don’t fucking stop.

You can’t lose if you don’t quit.