19 Sep There’s Nothing But Love
I JUST WANT TO tell a story. I think that’s what makes me the happiest. It’s scary, but more so, amazing and beautiful, how quickly life can change. One day we might feel down and we’re unsure of why; we just don’t feel like ourselves.
Then the next day we’re back to stasis, our resting place of joy and peace, to which we may always return. That feeling of oneness and ease is always there, readily available.
Yet we often can’t seem to get back to it, so we become anxious, worried, and make ourselves sick trying to get back.
We do more to find the remedy, instead of letting nature take its course. When we stop doing and return to being, life will return to its resting state, and so will we.
When you feel out of sorts, perhaps it’s best to stop trying to figure things out; return to what makes you happy.
What makes you truly happy?
Like laugh so hard you cry, happy? Or, laugh so hard you let go and feel like yourself again?
Our body knows the feeling of genuine joy. Our body is more intelligent than we realize. Often, all it takes to find that spark again is stepping outside to feel the sun.
Or going for a run, or a dip in a body of water. This is indeed the best remedy I’ve found for a tough day.
I got in the water yesterday, although I didn’t really feel like making the effort at the time. My word. It was a transcendent experience.
I went at dusk; clouds began to form and roll across the green, glassy water. I got in. It looked cold yet felt warm, like I was in on the earth’s secret. It felt like the summer days when I would come to Del Mar, California, as a kid with my family.
An evening dip before dinner, when the water’s alive but the waves are soft, and you can taste the salt, the life, coursing through your being.
I never imagined that I’d be living here. It’s almost been a year.
I’m still the same, right? The kid I’ve always been. I feel like I should know what I want out of life, but I don’t. I don’t. I don’t have a plan. It’s more like an idea.
I think I just want to be a good person. I think I just want to get the best out of myself, but what does that really mean?
Is it doing the most that I can do with the life I’ve been given? Doing more and accomplishing things seems to make me content for a moment, but I always return to wondering why.
I want to be happy, and make others happy, too. I want to be that ball of light that makes others smile when we pass.
Even though there’s insecurity and doubt beneath every smile, I’ll never stop smiling. Even though there’s pain within my body which I can’t seem to shake, I’ll never stop moving.
We’ve been given one body, ours to cherish.
If our heart is beating, we have it all.
I’ll never stop writing, because when I pass the rustling leaves which have turned from green to brown to grey, a sign of the coming season, life becomes simple again. I get to watch them fall.
I may study the nature of the universe, and in that moment, my doubts and thoughts evaporate with the falling sun. I look up and find solace in the evening moon, pale and patient in the sky.
It’s not going anywhere — no matter where we are or what we’re experiencing, the moon, the sun, the love of the universe — will always carry us.
It’s the simple things that get us through. Lifted by music, restored by the ocean, moving forward into the night.
It’s crazy how quickly life changes.
Feel it all — all the emotions in this present moment, all the beauty and the sorrow and the joy that is life.
Allow yourself to feel it. There’s nothing but love.