29 Sep The Time Between Then and Now
I MAY HAVE SEEN a lot of things, but what did I really see?
How often was I there, smelling the fuckin roses.
The times will come and they will go; so often thinking about the next time or the unnecessary stress. Instead of being where we are.
Watching the clouds as they gather from afar.
It doesn’t matter that they’re grey, for the grey is the mixture of the light of day, of the depth of night, as the seasons change through black and white.
The clouds have come. I want to feel the rain they give, I want to feel the sun that’s left, as it comes and warms me once again.
Just let it go.
What I keep telling myself. Enjoy life; enjoy the beauty and the love that comes and goes in waves.
Be good to people; explore the world and let it change you.
Watch the way things work. The waves crash and fall, the sun rises and sets, the way people interact and open their hearts.
Everything passes, and looking back at the time between then and now, all we’ll wish we had was more time.
Yesterday, on a misty morning walk, one of my best friends and I took in the freshly vibrant flowers and the smell of wet pavement after the rain.
That deep, artificial, ubiquitous smell that can be found around the world no matter where one lives.
It’s the simple things which I return to to ground myself again, to find joy again, to find myself again. My dad and I share this love for the smell of wet pavement. It always makes me happy.
My friend and I sat in the park for a while and watched the rainy surf.
I don’t know man, I’m happy where I am in life. I’m giving it everything I have to just be here, not worrying about the future with full faith that everything is happening for a reason.
The little things, the little annoying things, they seem important in the moment, but nothing deserves to take our joy away.
Our peace, our laughter, our smile.
This moment is yours. Don’t let anything take it from you. This moment is a gift.
I want to learn to cherish the big moments. They will always come back around. A weekend like this one last weekend, where my heart was full of so much love. If this weekend showed me anything, it’s how much I love people.
Seeing people be themselves and taking off the mask. Taking off my own. I don’t know what to do with this heart besides rip it open and share it and continue working through; this world needs love.
We all have the capacity to change the world. I don’t want to judge myself or the world for what has been or what might be. The only place to be is here — wherever that is. Be here. That’s life, isn’t it?
It’s never perfect, like a jaunt in the park from here to there. There’s worry and questioning and wondering, constantly wondering.
But that’s what makes this life worth living, the wondering of what might be, of what this moment, this simple moment, might be if we gave it everything.
It’s cool to be here, another day on planet earth.
I want to cherish the simple moments, the ones reserved only for us — these are the moments that make us who we are. Those that fill our days between then and now, the times we feel confused and find comfort in a laughing friend or the pages of a book we’ve traveled with. The pages have bled and been spilled on with a beer or coffee. It becomes a close friend.
The days we’re low and only need another sunny day. The days when the world is draped in grey, and that’s okay. A day like today…
Today is the time between then and now.
What will we make of it? What might we remember? What might we regret? Nothing more than being here.
Truly being here, present with a full heart.