A field of daisies and a mountain in the distance

Purple light and a few silhouettes walking on the shore

It feels impossible but I’ve been here before

A sight that makes me want to rip my heart open

What I see and what I feel

Tears fall

I sprinted down the beach along the road, not caring

Who was watching.

This is where I grew up

It’s been the most meaningful three months

I feel at a magnitude that makes my body shake

So I have to run

The reward for being alive

On the beach, through a city, in the gym or on the track

When I couldn’t, when I was in pain

My mind would spin out

No physical release

But I could put my pain into words

I could try

I could scribble on the page until tears would fly

Broken down. Laying down. All I could do was cry

And then I’d go up. Do it again.

Now I’m here watching

Waves breaking at dusk

I met a kid named Steven while standing on the bluff

He was from Seattle

Wearing a Lakers hat and I asked him if he played ball

He said ya, JV back in Seattle

And I told him I played JV

Right there down the road at Malibu High

Just a kid like him

He was kind and polite. Wise.

He wanted to watch the sunset

But his family said time to go

We shook hands, and I said Good luck in all things, Steven!

I ran like the devil was pounding at the door

That’s how I’m living life

There is no perfect. We’re all broken.

That’s what connects us — broken glass — constantly repairing

Pieces of the past

Life is evolution

But while I’m here, I’m gonna give it everything

So I’ll run at sunset through my old neighborhood

But I’ve never been me, not here, not now

I’ve been here before

You can’t change the past

But can look out for future you

Be good to yourself

I can’t imagine where we’re goin’ —

The grass will grow the kids will grow and we’ll grow too

Just like today we’ll be somebody new

So what do we do?

Look out for our future self in every little way.

The Stoic Seneca said, “How do I know I’m making progress?

I’m a better friend to myself.”

Hand on my heart

You say you’re an artist?

Life is my art

Goin’ with the flow, the way things change

Every single day the plot line rearranged

Let it be what it’s meant to be

Wake up in the morning to the

beautiful mystery

Be there for others

Be there for yourself

Wanna change the world?

Be at peace, and people feel it in themselves

You channel happiness and feel it in your cells

Trillions of planets in the galaxy of self

Every one alive

The Earth because the Sun

Spirit shall shine

Darkness hasn’t won

Come back home and jump in the ocean

Under pale moonlight

Write down every notion

Lessons from the fight

Because I’m learning

I feel like it’s impossible to be anything but grateful

Anything but happy, but that

Can feel unattainable

Sensitivity I feel deep within my bones

In the past the hurting

Occupied by woes

I want to wander and I want to give back

Maybe I am just by putting out this track

To share a little light like the fires on the beach

These lessons of my life

Are all I hope to teach.

There’s no reward in life that’s the reward for being alive. The reward for being alive is being alive. It’s a chance to feel the pain of losing somebody you love. It’s a chance to rise again with sadness in your heart, but today, after many todays, to feel that things are lighter, better, that things can and will change, that you are not who you thought you were, and that you can change too. The reward is a chance to grow, to hear the birds to feel the sand to face the storm to hold the hand of somebody you knew who thought they knew you too, and between you dance pain and light, darkness so bright it makes you cry, then laugh, and you know there’s nothing out there that can give you that feeling, no achievement or award, there’s only love. Live every day as if that is enough. Go for a run. A walk. A coffee. Read a book, make something, stare at the sky, that’s the reward for being alive.