I felt an urge to write poetry this week; I love writing poetry very early in the morning while still in bed, where outside, the world is dark and cool.

Below are four poems, four scenes that represent this transformative season of my life, woven together with a common thread.

Beyond the Veil of Understanding

Speaking from the door
Asking what do you fear? How long
Separated a veil of
Understanding, looking,
Listening, unknowingly I
Touch
Threshold
Cold glass, someone’s looking back
Me?
A two-way mirror
Beyond ocean swells
Lost,
Child of my past
Gasps for air
Seeking something
To hold.
I’m here. All struggle,
Not
Condoned to see — but as
Ocean swells, water of
Unconsciousness rises, mirror
Cracks
Doesn’t fall.
Through it I speak
But urging glass to break bears
Muddled sounds
No truth pleading,
Whispers filter
Through cracks in
Moments
Surrender,
Stop trying to be strong;
Reflection shatters
Spider’s web
Pieces
Remain; no glass
Fallen, occluded dim light
Vague
Distant sun
Glass of the mirror
Shimmers. I hear
Waves, ocean of my soul
Glass turns on, stars
An empty night, riddle of a constellation
Me; I turn
Away
Surrender.
Broken pieces of glass
Shining on the floor.

Legs Feed the Wolf

Light of the windowpane
Drags me from escaping
Today I face my flesh. It knows
Burning cold drops of rain
Falling from a
Moon; it knows morning winds
Of passing time, soughing through
Shirt buttons — flesh
Knows pain as
Well as sunlight, tears warm
As long-forgotten tea;
Legs feed the wolf, lost, resolute
Stalking the forest of alleys; they
Silently whimper, you
Hear morning sounds
Humming fan and wheels
On the road
Eyes don’t look at me, fearing a
Reflection, connection;
Your soul yearns for the
Kill. There’s a wolf in you,
Knows not flesh, domesticated
City lights, soft beds
Where we go to escape the moon
Until light breaks
Windowpane,
Forest teems with wolves
Again.

More Than Meets the Eye

How could I know
There’s more than meets
The eye, a window
Sky, looking
Through you, clear, calm
Blue. More I haven’t
Seen,
Because there is to me; racing heart
With love to give, rainy night
Summer storm.
Thunder beating in my chest
You hear silent words
Unsaid —
Rage — lightning of the soul,
More beyond
Your irises, storm beyond the window.
I hear pattering rain
But drops I cannot see.
Drops I only feel.
Early morning, room subdued
Blue, sky crestfallen,
Crying, soul renewed.
I feel the sun, though it rains
Warm tears, golden face
Coherence with a world,
Nonexistent
Today I ride the storm, beautiful
Softening storm.
Dawn to dusk sun, rain, I’m smiling,
Smiling. My heart can’t stop smiling.
Smiling like fallen blue petals
Wet on the road;
Smiling like gentle rain,
The sound the rhythm my heart,
Spirit and mind falling from the sky,
Reaching to the sun in unison.
Smiling, my heart
Can’t stop smiling, what
I’ve made it through,
Each step a threshold,
Each threshold crossed
A sea, until steps
Coalesce, I remain,
Peering through the window,
Listening to the rain
I cannot see.

Smiling Eyes of a Phoenix

Sweat-drenched shirt
Leather spins off my fingertips,
I run along the river green,
Moss of coming summer, glistening
Morning gray, calm after
A night of rain.
They don’t know what it means
To me. Passing faces.
To feel leather in
My hands again.
You’re looking into
Smiling eyes of a
Phoenix —
Sweat-drenched shirt
Of fire —
Sweat
A badge of honor won, courageously
Worn, warm as an inferno
Summer’s day; I
Dribble, run with my backpack
Tight around my shoulders
Down the river toward
The court — a man stops me and asks,
Are you Michael Jordan? Snickers —
I laugh.
Nah. I’m Vinny. I’ve worked
For what you see; sweat falling from
My brow, my lips,
Sweet as honey.
I’ve prayed for this day;
Standing on
A bridge, a pier, below me
An ocean, unconsciousness
One foot hovers — I miss him —
The kid who lives with all his heart,
Silence ensuing misunderstanding
Becomes with years
Strengthening shadows,
Overcoming laughter and
Sound of the ball, leather
Pounding pavement.
Dust falls away; kid knows
I’ve been waiting for this day,
I’d make him proud if
He saw me now, ocean between us
Life lived
Years tears fears fallen,
Transpired love disguised
As pain, wisdom youthful
Ardor, pushing a stone
Uphill into a bank of fog.
It settles in this
City that’s stolen my heart,
While
The ocean between
Kid and I storms,
Sound of the dribble
Same. Sound a bridge
I stand upon. Leap.