12 Apr Life, Not a Race
Life, not a race
What is there to chase?
Endless drive to get ahead
To make a mark before I’m dead;
But death will come to steal away,
The times where I failed to say,
What I should have said back then
I love you.
I’m grateful for you.
I love this — beautiful life — don’t want to see it go; I want to see it.
We create our destiny,
What’s before, reality.
To make time move or make it stop,
This moment, now, it’s all we’ve got.
BALANCE. Even the word seems balanced; unmovable, stable, peaceful. Arms outspread where life can try to grab ahold, but the core stays strong. Not leaning too far one way nor the other, the morning sun and dusky moon, juxtaposed, contending, yet through it all, at ease.
Balance has never come easily to me; I tend to go all in, figuring I might as well push myself if I’m going to pursue an endeavor. This weekend, after a week without an hour to spare and seldom time to think or just be, I questioned what I’m truly after.
At certain points, my mind felt like a maelstrom of thoughts swirling in my head. I could hardly see through the storm. I stood beneath like Atlas, attempting to hold up a semblance of the tumultuous sky.
I want to give this life everything I have — I want to discover what I’m capable of. But I found myself not feeling like me.
I believe control is an illusion, as trying to control what happens in our world often does more harm than good. We decide, however, where to allocate our time. That’s choice.
I strive to be at peace no matter what life presents. But taking on too much, spreading ourselves too thin, doing things just to feel like we’re moving forward as I was, is no sustainable plan for the long haul.
Life is an infinite game. There’s no winning. No finish line. Life will never become any less hectic. It’s up to us to make changes when necessary.
When I turned on my phone this morning and glanced at the two opposing fish of yin and yang swimming by each other, I realized it was time to pump the breaks.
A balanced life for me entails cherishing the present, no matter the circumstances I’m in. It allows room to breathe and space to do it. I will work hard; but life is more than work.
I want to know that what I’m doing matters, because there’s not enough time to only prepare for the future.
I’m alive, here, today, to watch the sun go up and down. I will breathe deeply.
I will continue to seek balance so when my last day comes, there won’t be anything left to do, nor moments missed to look into the sky or the eyes of another beautiful soul, simply looking back.