IT HURTS TO GET REJECTED; there’s no doubt about that. I’ve been denied quite a bit lately, particularly as a writer.

When we put ourselves out in the world, we’re asking for acceptance.

But whether or not we’re accepted is entirely out of our control. Often, being rejected doesn’t have anything to do with us.

To make personal progress, you must continue to give yourself to the world, regardless if you expect to be accepted.

If we lived our lives depending on how others received us, we’d be running a race that’s impossible to win.

We must first accept ourselves unconditionally for what we are. The rejection doesn’t matter. Putting yourself out there, authentically and always, does.

Rejection is part of the journey in anything we do. The ones who make it have been knocked down the most.

Yet after every disappointment, they courageously get up and take that next step forward. The fire within burns a little stronger with every no thrown into the flame.

Sometimes, others don’t recognize what you’re trying to do. And that’s okay; nobody must understand your passion but you.

After being confronted by rejection, I’ve learned to ask myself two crucial questions based on a close friend’s advice.

Was I authentically myself in what I portrayed?

Did I try my best?

If the answer is yes to both, then I can’t be anything but proud.

Writing is like a mountain built upon rejection.

As writers, we dedicate time to each word; we strive to sound authentic; we put our hearts on the page, hoping that somebody out there will connect with what we have to say.

When our work isn’t accepted into a publication or doesn’t receive the response that we expect, it’s natural to take it personally.

Yet, as the Stoic philosopher, Seneca said:

We must let go of our expectations to be accepted or acclaimed, to be anything other than a simple human giving our all.

When I don’t expect to be accepted, I feel greater freedom to write from the depths of my soul.

That, in itself, is what inspires me to keep moving forward.

Sometimes it’s even challenging to describe why I love writing.

But I do, and nothing will change that — not the acceptance from a publication or if nobody reads this story.

Each rejection is powerful; a single no could break me.

But when I know deep down I’m authentic in my work, the response it receives is out of my hands. When I know I’ve given everything I have, my soul is at peace.

Before the pandemic I worked as a residential real estate agent. Nearly every day, I would take to the streets with my best friend and business partner to knock on doors.

It wasn’t the most glamorous part of the job. However, according to my friend’s dad, our mentor, it was the most important.

It was what others weren’t doing.

Getting a door slammed in our faces every day wasn’t exactly inspiring. We had to turn it into a game.

Once we cast aside any expectation that we’d get a yes, each no became the norm. We decided to be grateful to be outside in the fresh air.

We were walking through beautiful neighborhoods and doing something uncomfortable by putting ourselves out there.

Each rejection built our character, and that in itself made us proud. I don’t think our mentor expected us to create much business from door knocking.

He knew what he was doing sending us out there; he was training us in one of the essential lessons in life. We learned how to embrace rejection.

The same two questions applied here:

Was I authentically myself?

Was I giving everything I had?

If the answers were yes, I’d hold my head up high with inspiration in my heart.

I wouldn’t be where I am now, courageously doing what I love, without that experience.

In anything we want in life we will face rejection far more often than acceptance.

Those who can remain joyful and persistent even through opposition are the ones who have the best shot at accomplishing their dreams.

Rejection stings, but it’s an integral part of growth. Be somebody who rises above every no.

If you know you’ve been authentic and gave everything you had, you can’t let anybody take your joy.

Remain inspired just by being you.

This story was originally published on Medium.com in my publication, Dare to Dream.