LIFE IS AN ADVENTURE OF GROWTH. These are the essential pillars that have shaped my character for the twenty fives years I’ve been on this beautiful, perplexing, spinning rock. I’m hoping that as I evolve into all I’m meant to be, so will these traits, insights, lessons, and skills.

1. Choose education and creative output over entertainment

“The most successful people who are the healthiest, wealthiest, and wisest choose education over entertainment.”  — Jay Shetty

Once I graduated from college and could learn about what I’m genuinely interested in, the floodgates were demolished.

With no T.V. in my home, I spend my off-time reading, writing, drawing, playing piano, listening to audiobooks, podcasts, or watching educational videos from the people I admire on Youtube.

Khan Academy is a wonderful resource for short videos during lunch or dinner.

2. Don’t gossip

“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

It feels good to talk about people. We get that rush of dopamine flooding our system. Gossiping is easy. The difficult thing to do is to keep quiet and not contribute.

The courageous thing is to speak up, change the subject, and view everybody as doing the best with what they know.

3. Simplify

“The world is constantly telling you that the path to a better life is more, more, more — buy more, own more, make more, be more. You are constantly bombarded with messages to give a f*ck about everything, all the time… The key to a good life is not giving a f*ck about more; it’s giving a f*ck about less, giving a f*ck about only what is true and immediate and important.” — Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

There is simply too much prying for our attention these days. We’re worried about how we look on social media, how we measure up with others, how more things will make us happy.

Constantly adding to our lives complicates the hell out of it. Boil down your life to the things you care about most, and focus on those with the entirety of your being.

Focus on two or three things, essential things, that you can accomplish every day. When you do them, feel good about what you’ve done!

4. Focus on helping just one person

“From Neale Donald Walsch: Your life is not about you. Rather, it’s about the lives of every single person you touch.” — Vishen Lakhiani, The Buddha and the Badass

This has been huge for me, especially as a writer. More than just a means to express who I am and what I love, writing has connected me with people from all over the world.

It’s been my way to say, this is who I am, and it’s okay to be exactly who you are. When I can impact the life of just one person who tells me that they relate to what I’m saying, I know I’m doing the right thing with my life. We’re on this earth to connect, to be there, and to grow with one another.

Just focusing on helping one single person has a compounding effect. Without our knowing, the energy emanating from our hearts may very well change the world.

7. Plant seeds of joy

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.”

 — Robert Louis Stevenson

As kids, we tend not to want to share our things. Ah, to be a kid. Similar to helping just one other person, maturing to me means living to share what we have. It means sharing the things we love, our joys, skills, and knowledge.

I strive to be an open book with all that I have. When we live to plant seeds of joy in those we meet, we’re changing the world.

8. Practice gratitude throughout the day

“The moment you feel gratitude your healing begins; the moment you feel grateful for your life, your life is going to change.”  — Dr. Joe Dispenza

It’s easy to focus on what we don’t have. But damn, is it powerful to realize what we do have. A body that functions, a mind that works, eyes that see, our breath… It’s a blessing to be alive.

One way I practice gratitude is by writing three things I’m grateful for in the morning. And don’t do it to get it done, because I fall into that trap. Think deeply about it, feel the emotion of the practice. It makes everything else worth it.

Before dinner, take thirty seconds to think about how you’re grateful. Sit in it. Don’t rush. Honor the food on the plate in front of you.

10. Be there for your friends

“No matter how wonderful the safety of your home is at the moment, remember that it’s not promised forever. Evil is alive and well in the world, and it is on the march. You can choose to stay in comfort and pretend that evil doesn’t exist.

Or you can band together with your friends, go out into the world, and face, fight, and overcome evil in all of its forms. That is the ultimate call to adventure.” 

— J.R.R. Tolkien

My friends are everything to me. We are on our individual journeys. Yet sometimes we need to figure things out on our own. But if I get a call from a friend in need, I will be there.

Reach out, too, when there isn’t any trouble. Check in. Sometimes that’s what means the most.

11. Don’t let the world take your joy

“The greatest empire is to be emperor of oneself.” — Seneca

It will try.

The only thing we can control is our mind. There are so many factors at play out of our control, determining every single thing that happens to us. We have the choice to remain joyful through it all.

12. Remember that you’re just a kid at heart

“Man is most nearly himself when he achieves the seriousness of a child at play.”  — Heraclitus

Remember when you were a kid and you didn’t question everything so much, you just did? 

Remember when you could get lost in doing what you loved, even if that was playing with playdough for hours?

Remember when you believed anything was possible?

That kid is your fire, your spirit, your essence. Hopefully you’ve matured in the ways that matter, but never forget what it means to be a kid. Harness that fire, and lever let your inner kid fade.

14. Go for a wander in the rain

“Gil: This is unbelievable! Look at this! There’s no city like this in the world. There never was.
Inez: You act like you’ve never been here before.
Gil: I don’t get here often enough, that’s the problem. Can you picture how drop dead gorgeous this city is in the rain? Imagine this town in the ’20s. Paris in the ’20s, in the rain. The artists and writers!
Inez: Why does every city have to be in the rain? What’s wonderful about getting wet?” — Midnight in Paris

Midnight in Paris; what a movie. ‘Nuff said.

16. Go to the bar for your drink, and smile

“Freedom lies in being bold” — Robert Frost

Be bold. One of my greatest memories is when I fell into a warmly lit bar in Amsterdam to escape from the torrential rain. I didn’t have much time to think when I opened the door. Everybody looked at me. I was dripping wet and the only non-local.

I went straight to the bar and worked my way in with a big smile. From there, I made the memory of a lifetime.

17. Show everybody the same high amount of respect

“I am the earth. I see no difference between people.” — Conn Iggulden, Genghis: Birth of an Empire

It doesn’t matter if you’re a five-year-old kid or a CEO. I’m going to treat you like a human being, and all human beings deserve respect. Nobody is better than you, and nobody is less.

If you show sincerity in who you are, that should shine through.

18. Be insatiably curious

“Over the years, as his [Leonardo Da Vinci] scientific study got more serious, he filled pages with outlines and passages for treaties on topics such as flight, water, anatomy, art, horses, mechanics, and geology. These are the outward-looking enthrallments of a relentlessly curious explorer. Leonardo was following a practice that had become popular in Renaissance Italy of keeping a commonplace and sketch book, known as a zibaldone. His notebooks have been rightly called, ’the most astonishing testament to the powers of human observation and imagination ever set down on paper.” — Walter Isaacson, Leonardo Da Vinci

Ask questions; wonder about trivial things; look at the sky and wonder why it’s blue. Truly wonder. 

The world doesn’t have to be the way we see it. Ask why things are the way they are, and see what response comes of it.

We may find that we’re living in an outdated world in need of an upgrade.

20. Learn to cook for yourself, and own it

“Cooking is a craft, I like to think, and a good cook is a craftsman — not an artist. There’s nothing wrong with that: The great cathedrals of Europe were built by craftsmen — though not designed by them. Practicing your craft in expert fashion is noble, honorable, and satisfying.” — Anthony Bourdain

Cooking, to me, is one of the greatest pleasures in the world. It’s a time to turn up the music and have fun. It’s a time to stray from a recipe and throw in some heat. It’s an opportunity to connect and learn about people.

Learn the basics and develop your intuition. Then, allow yourself to grow, learn, and have fun in the kitchen for the rest of your life. And do the dishes as you go… 

21. Dance and sing with others

“Never the too-cool-for-school guy who leans against the wall and smokes a cigarette at the party, no, I was the guy who danced at the party.” — Matthew McConaughey, Greenlights

Life is too short to lean against the wall to act like you don’t care. You do. So care. Dance, sing, make a fool of yourself. Enjoy life.

22. Lifestyle, not a diet

“The Blue Zone centenarians don’t count calories, take vitamins, weigh protein grams, or even read labels.” — Dan Buettner, Blue Zones, 9 Lessons For Living Longer

This one has been essential in my life. Health and food are fluid concepts. How we think about our food is constantly changing. I’ve found that sticking to a diet is self-defeating in the long term if we’re limiting ourselves.

What’s the point of dieting if we’re losing our mind?

Eat what makes you happy and learn about how the body works, not just what diet is trending.

Eat Smarter, by Shawn Stevenson is an amazing book to learn about foods that boost our immune system and metabolism. There is no right way to eat; there’s only what makes you feel like the best version of yourself.

25. Don’t sweat the small stuff

And it’s all small stuff.